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Transcript:Illegal Alien
credits :['''Scene': Outside Linden Court, George's hand is on a car.]'' Janet: outside''George you've been out here half an hour, come in. 'George: I can't. '''Janet: What d'you mean you can't? George: Well you know i had to rescue that boat from the Arctic. Janet: Yes. George: Yes, which meant i had to fly very low over the magnetic North Pole. Janet: So? George: to the car and lifts his hand, lifting the car with it. I've become magnetic Janet. Janet: That's ridiculous. George: I know, sorry. Janet: It's not even our car. George: the car down I know. Janet: What if he wants to use it? George: He won't want to use it. Janet: How do you know that? George: Because i'd be stuck to his roof he'd look silly. Janet: Yeah but supposing he does, how are you gonna stop him? :is shocked to see Mr. Blake unlock the car. Janet: Ah, er morning Mr. Blake, you alright? Mr. Blake: Yes thank you Mrs. Sun... eyes glow, he uses his powers to make Mr. Blake have to go to the toilet. Janet: Well, can i get you anything while you're waiting? Some iron filings to play with? :pushs down on the baby bump George: I wouldn't mind something to eat but no cutlery. nervous when he sees Tyler' 'Tyler: outside Hello master, Janet mistress. :is shocked. '''George: Oh no don't let him near me not with those earings. Janet: Oh Tyler don't get to close. Tyler: to George in confusion Whats the matter master? What... is magnetised to George, making it look like they're kissing each other. :both struggle to get each other off. Janet: Perfect, well that's just perfect isn't it, right in full view of the neighbours. George: his mouth off Tyler's to speak. Tounge stuck! magnetised back on Tyler. Janet: Right, well if anyone wants me, i'll be, hiding. :and Stanley arrive. Ella: Morning darling, morning... George and Tyler ... good lord. Janet: Morning mum, dad, weather's turning a bit chilly don't you think? to George and Tyler Anyway, would either of you two be interested in, sponsoring, George and Tyler? Ella: Sponsoring? Janet: Yeah they're doing a sponsored, Snogathon. They have to keep kissing each other, to raise money for charity. Stanley: In your driveway? Janet: It's for help the aged. Ella: It's not the aged who need help. Janet: They've only just started so they'll be at it for hours. Would you like to, sponsor them? Stanley: Well i... Ella: Stanley No we would not, kindly remember this is Northolt Stanley, not Bangkok. Stanley: More's the pity. Blake comes back, Stanley touches his hat to greet him. Good morning Mr. Blake. Mr. Blake: Good morning Mr... makes him go to the toilet again. :and Stanley are shocked as Janet simply smiles at them. :['''Scene': Northolt Health Centre, Janet is with Mrs. Raven at reception.]'' Mrs. Raven: So, how much did you raise for Help the Aged? Janet: Eight hundred and thirty pounds, once the local radio found out we had quite a crowd gathered. Would you like to give something? Mrs. Raven: Why not. Janet: That's nice. Mrs. Raven: Because i'm mean that's why not. :woman arrives and speaks to Mrs. Raven in sign language. Woman: signing Hello, i've come about the results for my blood test. Mrs. Raven: signing Of course, they came in this morning. Janet: I didn't know you could do sign language. Mrs. Raven: One has to keep up in this job Janet. the woman The results of the test were positive, you've got days to live. :woman appears shocked and runs off. Janet: Oh dear, she didn't look very happy. Mrs. Raven: I can't imagine why, i told her the result of her tests were negative and she's got years to live. Well, at least that's what i think i said, oh well never mind. :and another man walk outside. Piers: Janet, Mrs. Raven, i'd like you to meet Hugo Blissett, a very special young man. Mrs. Raven: Oh you've come out at last. That's ten quid you owe me Janet. Piers: I have not come out, this young man, is my son. :silently gasps. Piers: The son i never knew i had. Janet: Oh Piers that's fantastic you must be thrilled. Piers: I am thrilled beyond words. Mrs. Raven: Well i feel very sorry for you. Piers: Mrs. Raven just because you don't like Hugo... Mrs. Raven: I was talking to Hugo. Hugo: Actually i'm happy about it, now that i've found him at last. I see you tonight hey dad. taps Piers with his fist Piers: Yeah, the same see you tonight son. :leaves Piers: D'you know i knew he was my son the moment he walked into the surgery. Janet: You could sense the bond between you. Piers: No he had our matching DNA profiles with him. Such an emotional moment, i stared at the profiles, stared at him, i rang the clinic to check that they hadn't got the profiles muddled up, phoned a couple of professors to check the accuracy of DNA profiling. Janet: While he was in the room? Piers: Janet, this is the son i haven't seen for twenty years, i didn't want to send him away, he's very special to me. Janet: Ah, and who's his mother? Piers: Now he did mention her name, Mrs. Blissett i suppose. Mrs. Raven: Oh i get it, this is the result of some drunken one night stand. Piers: There was nothing tacky about our relationship. Mrs. Raven: There's nothing tacky about one night stands i love 'em. Piers: What happened was a beautiful act that brought a child into the world, she was a young woman, desperate for a baby and i was a young medical student happy to sell the where with all to make it possible. Janet: Oh i see so you never actually? Piers: Met? No. But it clearly proves i have a certain way with the women. Janet: Is it? Piers: Hugo shown me a photograph of his mother, she's a very beautiful woman. And it was uh, his tie my sample she chose, need i say more. walks into his office and jumps in the air. Category:Transcripts